[TORRES DEL PAINE, CHILE] — Going to Torres del Paine in Patagonia has been one of my lifelong goals, well, at least for the last 15 years. Finally got a chance to go, paired with a visit to the Atacama Desert in the northern half of Chile — the driest place on the planet (and posts to follow).

Patagonia actually straddles Chile and Argentina and I could never figure it out, finally just picked Chile and didn’t even get a chance to see the Argentina side, which people I met strongly recommend.

Where is it? Look at a map, find South America, then take a left and go aaallll the way to the bottom. It’s there. End of the earth. It’s hard to figure out what starts and stops where, so I included a couple of maps. I just went to Torres del Paine national park, but there are several sub-regions to go to….leaving more to explore in the future.

Look at a map, find South America, then take a left and go aaallll the way to the bottom. It’s there. End of the earth.

To get there, you fly to Santiago then take another flight or two down to Punta Arenas, at the bottom of the continent, right above Tierra del Fuego — the place we all studied in grade school.  You literally do feel like you’re at the end of the earth there, what I imagine northern Alaska to be. From there, you drive four hours north through endless Sheep Country — nothing but sheep — until you get to the park. Chile is long and thin, so you’re never far from the ocean, but Torres del Paine has it’s own microclimate, so while it was windy, bone-chilling cold and winter-like in Punta Arenas — I was scared to death and even bought an extra down jacket, wondering “Oh no, what have I gotten myself into? I’m gonna freeze.”

But when you get up to the park it was….SPRING!  Warm, flowers blooming, everything green. The wind, like everywhere in Patagonia, is ever-present, in some places, 100km/hour. But the place is built for it.

Just by luck, not by plan, I picked to travel in the Springtime, which many people say is the best 

The views from Lago Azul, the same views you see on a lot of guidebooks

To get to Patagonia, go to South America and turn left and go aaaallll the way down. Last house on the left.

“Hi-ho, hi-ho…” 🎶 🌬💨🚶🏻🎶

The wind. You learn to love the wind. It is stupendous. I’ve never experienced such wind. You’re in a calm spot and go around the corner and it is the most intense thing you’ve ever experienced, whipping up froth and waterspray, whitecaps and fun from the surrounding lakes. All of us where stopped dead-in-our-tracks — literally and figuratively — on each hike, in amazement.

The colors…..changing at every turn. And everything looking different on the way back down the trail. It’s like getting two trails for the price of one!

Another peculiar phenomena about Patagonia, the wind is blowing strong, creating whitecaps and whisps of sprite, but the air above the mountains remained absolutely clear. It was mind-blowing. Such intense wind, yet these massive things remained clear and picture-perfect.

You have to relearn how to walk in 100km/hour wind. Lift your leg to make the next step and you get blown off the trail. You have to learn to crab-walk, fighting against a hurricane force and walking like a bunch of drunken sailor

There have been a number of recent massive forest fires over the last several years, but the damage actually adds to the drama of the landscape. Every few feet opens up a completely different view.

You can’t tell it here, in this calm spot, but you learn to crab-walk against the wind. If you lift your foot up, you get blown off the trail — as I was, six-five and two-fifty many, many times.

Los Cuernos. (The Horns)

Lean in. The wind will take care of you. We spent a half hour doing this….grown men, squealing and giggling like nine year olds.

We’ve all seen reporters during hurricanes, facing intense winds. But in Patagonia, here you get to experience it yourself. You can get bummed out by it, or embrace it. Such a blast.

Route from Punta Arenas

One big mess of a good place to go exploring. #torresdelpaine national park, from space. Just stare at it for a little bit. Everything I’ve been showing over the last 26 posts all happened right here within this frame. And I only saw a fraction of the park. Freaky blue lakes. Drop dead mountain ranges. Glaciers. Waterfalls. Hikes galore. Killer hotels. Animals you’ve never seen before. A lot of everything… except people. Google Map it and dive in. You can spend hours on your computer or days on the ground having the adventure of a lifetime.

The trail to Lago Azul — Just when you’re having fun, along comes a waterfall….

One of the best and easiest hikes in Torres del Paine is the Lago Azul trail — lots and lots of glory without much effort. It’s the perfect first day hike. I saw more wildlife on that trail than any other — herds of guanaco, rheas, ducks and birds of all shapes and sizes. And nobody, literally nobody, else on the trail. It is awesome, especially towards sunset. You get to see the backside of the Towers, fronted by a stunning lake. Breathtaking…..but then again, the whole place is breathtaking….

Patagonia — Torres del Paine003 The trail to Lago Azul, on the far east side of the park.

You do not see this everyday.

Base of the Torres trail. This one’s a commitment, but the end is worth it. Starts of pretty but gets ugly early. Pretty much five hours of Up. Caution: this is not a US National Forest Service trail, with meandering switchbacks that soften the incline — which I now have the utmost respect for. They don’t screw around in Chile, when the trail goes up, you go STRAIGHT UP. For hours.

Each day, you pick a different destination. The park has everything to offer. You want an easy hike, you got it. Difficult, pick the next day. It feels like the entire park is yours to explore. And the few people you run into, you share a common smile of “Can you believe this?!?!?”

What’s awesome about the Tierra Hotels in Chile is that have a small army of experienced guides included in your stay. Each day, you pick a different place to go, whatever you’re in the mood for. A big hike. A lazy stroll. Or just some easy sightseeing. And then they take you there. They know exactly where to go, when to avoid crowds and the best time of day to get great pics. And teach you along the way. I’d never stayed at a place like that before, normally I prefer to get lost on my own. But I tell ya, this changed my whole way of thinking. I got more out of my stay than any other place I’ve been. What a great experience.

Yeah sure, I’m smiling. 20 minutes earlier, after an hour of slugging through the moraine and I was about to cry like a little girl.

The Base of the Torres — you see it in all the guidebooks, a crystal clear day with sharp views of all the Towers. But in reality, we were told by our guides that you see a view like this only 40% of the time, so pick a clear day. All that Up and not seeing these puppies up close and it would be ego-crushing. Save this hike for your last days after building up some stamina.

Our Tierra guide Chris spotted this guy 100 yards away like he was an Indian, not an Australian. Snoozing away, paying no mind to us, then casually got up and sauntered away….

You do not see these colors in nature….oh wait, you do….

I know there are a lot of these pics, but they are worth repeating, looking completely different from every angle and every hour.

Just by luck, not by plan, I picked to travel in the Springtime, which many people say is the best time of the year to go. Less wind and every single thing is popping, all at once. Especially babies. So freaky, nearly every species of animal was surrounded by all their new spring births. Makes you really feel small in the world as it does its own magical thing. Everything happening simultaneously.

Spot the herd?

Rheas. Not isolated in a zoo. Rheas right there by the side of the road, doing their rhea thing. Such a crazy looking bird, even crazier to see it live in its natural habitat. Woke up in the mornings and look out the window and there they are….rheas right there. Pinch me.

SVDD (Same View, Different Day). Once you see Bob Dylan in the snow field (at 9 o’clock in this pic) it’s hard to NOT see him every time…either that or it’s Juan Epstein from Welcome Back, Kotter…which totally ruins it… (That just might be the first time those two names have ever been used together in the same sentence…)

SVDD (Same View, Different Day). Once you see Bob Dylan in the snow field (at 9 o’clock in this pic) it’s hard to NOT see him every time…either that or it’s Juan Epstein from Welcome Back, Kotter…which totally ruins it… (That just might be the first time those two names have ever been used together in the same sentence…)

It is, by far, the most stunning and varied scenery I’ve ever experienced. Jaw-dropping goodness around every corner. And nobody there. More animals than people.  Each day you set out for a hike and maybe pass a dozen cars. My ideal spot. No lines. No people. Just nature. The geology is astounding, you literally feel like the earth is still evolving around you. I was there in Spring (later November), which I hear is one of the best times of the year to go. As my friend Barb Marczyk told me “there is is no bad weather, only proper clothing.” So get the right gear — layers, windproof, water-proof, lightweight — and everything’ll be just fine.

Now, go. Hurry.

Grey’s Glacier

The geographic diversity is just incomparable to anywhere I’ve been. Where else can you be by a lake, then climb a mountain then get thisclose to a glacier?  This is must-do trek, Grey’s Glacier.

Off on another adventure, this time to Lago Grey, home to the massive Grey’s Glacier. You won’t believe what comes next…..

Let’s go look for some ice.

It’s Fitzcaraldo. Here on this lake, in the middle of nowhere, high up in the mountains, at the end of the earth. A ship. How did they get this up here?

To take the Grey’s Glacier tour, you need to reserve your spot on the boat in advance. I don’t know how, but you do.

Oh look…there’s one…

There’s some hiding over there..

Looks like a frozen Positano….

Busy. Like a duck swimming, there’s a whole lot going on here we can’t see…beyond the whole lot going on that we can see…

Cold.

I grind my teeth at night when I sleep, but nothing like this sleepy glacial does…

Ice. Scream. Weeeeeeeeeeeee!

Tumblin’, tumblin’ down…

Literally….I took 379 pictures of the glacier and six videos. You will have to endure a few here….

One big mess of a good place to go exploring. #torresdelpaine national park, from space. Just stare at it for a little bit. Everything I’ve been showing over the last 26 posts all happened right here within this frame. And I only saw a fraction of the park. Freaky blue lakes. Drop dead mountain ranges. Glaciers. Waterfalls. Hikes galore. Killer hotels. Animals you’ve never seen before. A lot of everything… except people. Google Map it and dive in. You can spend hours on your computer or days on the ground having the adventure of a lifetime.

Looks good from any angle. (Padum-pum…)

You feel the earth evolving, right in front of your eyes. Crunch crunch crunch….not for a millennia…right. there.

Resources

Here’s where you should stay.  Tierra Patagonia. Here’s a great overview in Conde Nast Traveler’s Concierge.com travel site. And Travel & Leisure’s compendium guide. And a great article in the NY Times, with better pics than mine.  Here are two awesome articles from Departures magazine.  A Patagonia Guide. and another on ranking the different hotels.